Orange County Register

“Big Brother” closed its 11th season Tuesday by making 22-year-old Jordan Lloyd $500,000 richer - and by proving once again why the series is vastly inferior to its own big brother, “Survivor.”

Where “Survivor” leaves the contestants largely on their own to fight their way to the top, the outcome of “Big Brother” relies on the often-random Head of Househould competitions.

And so, as is too often the case, Tuesday’s final two were players the others regarded as too weak to win: Jordan and Natalie Martinez.

In the painful question-and-answer session with the jury, we got a final taste of why the other players thought so little of Jordan and Natalie. While neither could power a flashlight with their intellectual force, at least Jordan was a nice person.

And she did make one smart move: When Jordan won the final HOH, she promptly booted Kevin Campbell, who might have beaten her in the final vote.

PREVIOUSLY ON … THE WATCHER

“Big Brother” carved its cast down to just three people on Tuesday, and there it will stay for an entire week, until the two-hour finale next Tuesday.

CBS’s desire to string out the last few bits of the competition has made for an excrutiatingly slow final week, with Thursday’s episode focused on the HOH semifinals. Tuesday will bring us the last Head of Household result, the final elimination and the jury vote. Sunday’s episode will be a recap of the season to date.

Because of Chima’s self-immolation, the jury is short one person, and that vote will go to the viewers. Voting already is open at the CBS website. Because we don’t yet know the final two, you can vote for each of the three possible scenarios.

For me the choice is obvious: Kevin has had his awful moments, but at least he’s behaved reasonably well, played the game and stepped up in several challenges. Jordan, while nice, is as dumb as a vat of slop and rode Jeff’s coattails most of the way. Natalie’s greatest achievement is lying to the others about her age.

Of course, whom we want to win is not necessarily whom we think will win. And the latter is the point of poll. Try to read the mostly microscopic minds of the jurors and predict who takes season 11.

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The Watcher is not a huge fan of “Big Brother,” but one aspect I do enjoy is watching the inevitable mental breakdowns that occur late in the game.

Tuesday provided us a great example, as Jeff - as close as anyone could be to controlling the game - turned into Captain Queeg. All he lacked was a handful of ball bearings.

With a solid four-person alliance in place, Jeff decided to blow that up by putting Russell on the block. In one move, he threw away a jury vote, turned ally Michelle into a free agent and left his two biggest enemies - Natalie and Kevin - in the game.

All this was based on Russell’s “treachery” of voting to evict Natalie instead of Jessie two weeks ago - a meaningless vote that Russell did not know at the time was against Jeff’s wishes.

The rest of the episode Jeff spent badgering his chief ally, Jordan, carping at Michelle and convincing himself that Natalie and Kevin were the only people he could trust.

I’m sure someone stole his strawberries, too.

If you listened carefully to the very end of Sunday’s episode of “Big Brother,” you heard announcer Clayton Halsey promise that Tuesday’s episode would bring a meltdown that would result in someone being removed from the game.

Of course, in the time-warped world of “Big Brother,” those folks watching the live feeds from the house already knew that Chima Simone was the melter and removee, having left the game on Saturday.

CBS released a statement saying that Chima was evicted from the house for violating game rules and would not be a part of the jury.

For her part, Chima insists that she quit and was not removed. I’m not sure what difference it makes, as quitting must be against the rules. Either way, Chima sent a lengthy e-mail to Examiner.com detailing her side of things.

With one of her nominees evicted, Michelle was deemed done as Head of Household. A new HOH competition has been held, and new nominees will be on the block for a Thursday vote. CBS has not said so officially, but most observers think this will eliminate the need for a double-evicition episode.

If you can’t wait to find out who the next HOH is, click to the rest of this article.

PREVIOUSLY ON … THE WATCHER

Read the rest of this entry »

UPDATED with new info on Braden and the “tribal” divisions.

CBS introduced us to the Houseguests for the upcoming 11th season of “Big Brother” Wednesday morning, and one of them is a local guy.

Braden Bacha, 28, lives in Santa Monica, but his bio on the CBS website says he was born and raised in Dana Point. The bio also describes him this way: “He constantly boasts about his self-perceived intelligence, looks, charm and overall desirability. Braden calls himself a fashion icon and thinks anything creative is totally rad; he even designs his own jewelry.”

Sounds perfect for “Big Brother.”

Twelves guests were revealed on “The Early Show,” but a mysterious 13th guest - presumably a returnee from a previous season - still is unknown.

To start the season, the 12 will be divided into four “tribes” that mirror high school cliques: the popular kids, the athletes, the braniacs and the off-beats.

The fun starts July 9.

Your moment of zen

“Big Brother” finishes its rather tame 10th season tonight with the jury forced to choose between Dan and Memphis.

As is always the case on “BB,” the jurors are bitter about the injustice of having to vote for someone other than themselves. But if they are able to get their enormous egos out of the way for a second, they’re left with an interesting choice.

Dan was clearly the “player” of the season, making deals, breaking deals, pretending to be incompetent. Memphis, on the other hand, made an early ally of Dan and stuck by him, even through all of Dan’s machinations.

So who do the jurors reward? Dan, the guy who tried harder, or Memphis, the straight shooter? Hard to to tell.

What do you think? It’s time to vote.

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