- NEWS
- Cold air follows hard rain 3 hours & 23 minutes ago
- Sheriff candidates show their colors at debate 2 hours & 32 minutes ago
- Suspect in MySpace scheme admitted to 'being sick'
- Supervisors approve deputy union deal
- SPORTS
- BUSINESS
- ENTERTAINMENT
- LIFE
- TRAVEL
- OPINION
‘Real Housewives’ preview: Tan and surgery
November 12th, 2009, 12:05 pm · 54 Comments · posted by The Watcher
Greetings, “Real Housewives of Orange County” fans. It’s the Watcher filling in for Richard Chang this week as we look ahead to what’s in store for us tonight.
Unfortunately, the Register couldn’t get its DVD of the episode out to the Watcher’s palatial estate, so I had to make do with the preview clips available on the Bravo website.
We do know that things will begin with the resumption of last week’s catfight at the St. Regis. I’m sure such a high-end resort is thrilled to be associated with such high-class behavior. What began last week as simple pettiness between Gretchen and Tamra devolved into swearing at each other. Is there anywhere to go from there? Swearing more loudly perhaps? We aren’t told.
But we do know that to calm herself down from the Battle Royal, Gretchen throws a tanning party in the back yard of her Laguna Niguel home. The purpose of the get together is “to laugh and giggle and just be who I am,” Gretchen says.
The party consists of drinking - of course - and taking turns getting spray tanned in a makeshift booth.
Slade, Gretchen’s “friend” according to the subtitles, starts things off on a classy note by stepping into the tanning booth naked. Well, not 100 percent naked. He puts a sock over his private parts to keep things clean and family-friendly.
“He has a sock on his hee-haw,” Gretchen helpfully informs us.
Gretchen goes in next, and she keeps her bikini on. She’s willing to accept the tan lines. As we all know, Gretchen is the modest and appropriate one.
Lynne is at the party, too. She doesn’t mind the tan lines on the bottom but she doesn’t want them on top, so Lynne sheds the upper half of her bikini. She manages to keep the key parts covered until she is asked to extend her arms. Good friend Gretchen steps in to cover Lynne with her hands. This is why we watch the show, folks.
Later, Gretchen playfully brags that she got to second base with Lynne.
In a second preview clip, Lynne heads to Newport Beach for a consultation with Dr. Milind K. Ambe about a face lift.
“There’s a lot of competition in Orange County,” Lynne explains to us. I didn’t even know anyone was handing out prizes. (Although take a look at my mug shot and the reason will be obvious.)
Dr. Ambe outlines his plan for Lynne and promises to make her look “12 or 13 years younger,” which pleases Lynne. “My face has fallen and it can’t get up,” she confesses. She adds that getting plastic surgery “is a positive goal for the girls,” meaning her two daughters.
The older one, 19-year-old Raquel, is with Lynne on the trip. I think at first it is for moral support, but no. Raquel is next in Dr. Ambe’s chair, and he outlines a plan for a nose job: flattening an insignificant bump and narrowing the tip.
“Raquel does have low self-esteem,” Lynne says.
“I always compare myself to my sister and my mom and I always think that they’re better,” is how Raquel puts it.
So she’s getting a nose job for her birthday. “Last year, I got a BMW,” Raquel notes. And next year, perhaps, extensive therapy.
And that’s it for now. Check back tomorrow, when the Watcher will have his full-length, completely objective, non-judgmental review of the episode.
Reader Comments
Comments are encouraged, but you must follow our User Agreement.- Keep it civil and stay on topic.
- No profanity, vulgarity, racial slurs or personal attacks.
- People who harass others or joke about tragedies will be blocked.
54 Comments
-
ADVERTISEMENT
-
TV: Reality Shows- Cosmetic surgery blog:
- Arts Blog:
- Soundcheck music blog:
-
16th annual People's Choice
From your favorite restaurants and shops to the best day spa in town, here are your choices for the number one places to eat, shop and play in O.C.
Browse the 2009 Best of Orange County winners -
ADVERTISEMENT
Stop the madness people………
It’s too late.
OMG, this is insanity! And my friends in OC think I was crazy for moving to Las Vegas? OC may be “wholesome” on the outside, but beneath that “conservative” surface is a whole LOT of CRAZY!
Ain’t it the truth?
Like I care.
We’re glad you took the time to let us know.
Very insightful, me. Please post more often.
K, I will bare reading this one because it complete voids off any of Mrs Piggy’s- Vicki and Platapus- Tamra’s faces.
I cannot stand those two ignorant , jealous Old hags Ugggh
they are hidious.
I am sorry to hear Jeanna is leaving, but she is making the right move.
this show not only jumped the shark,the shark should come back to finish off this show.
And people wonder what went wrong with the spawn born out of that generation. God help us.
I truly can’t believe ppl really watch this mess. Are we so out of touch with reality we resort to watching mindless c*** like this? If these morons really had money or contributed something, (ANYTHING) to society it might be different.
Yes, Jaws, please return and finish off this show.
I have a house for rent in Newporsche Beach if any more of the housewives get foreclosed on… LOL
Slade is so Hooootttt!!!! He is the main reason I watch the show. I want to have his babies, I know he would make a wonderful father!!!
Are we going to finally get some coverage of the husbands affair?
Can’t say I blame ‘em, but can the show ignore it?
I love the show. Also love the Atlanta and NYC versions. Guilty fun!
That’s it Lynn, spend the rent money on plastic surgery. Then get evicted from your third rental home in 18 months.
Must be the best looking mom over 50 living at Motel 6.
Nice eye candy for the johns and meth monsters.
and under Breaking News no less….
OCR is a joke
These women should be the role models of OC.
i respect the one husband who put his wife in check on her behavior about tea bag statement.selling your self is one thing,but your childern is another.look at what happened to the hulk family.i think that you all are good people,but nothing good will come of this,only money.
They all do massive amounts of cocaine except the heavy one, right?
Anybody on this show, or associated with this show, is a loser.
I’ll say it again: Who WATCHES this thing? Please step forward.
If you’re too embarassed, I understand.
puke
Is this what you dreamed of when you went to college…someday, you would be writing about vacuous, fake-tanned, soul-less morons? Sux doesn’t it?
I don’t know. I’m getting paid for it, but you’re doing it for free!
GREAT ANSWER WATCHER!!! MADE ME LAUGH!!!
If they aren’t watching the show, why are they commenting? I watch some of it because it’s like a train wreck…hard to look away. I also want to see how the O.C. is portrayed…and it is horrifying!
Hey Irving, apparently this is the best train wreck on this network. We all know it’s tough to look away from a train wreck, there’s so much carnage to absorb…
Nice to know Slimy Slade is still doing things on another person’s dime. Hey, Slade, how are your kids doing?
Maybe Tamra’s son, Ryan, can get on that gravy train and get some hair plugs.
These people DISGUST me. Hoping to hear SERIES FINALE very, very soon!
Not even going to bother reading this drivel. The show is lame and these broads are fake. I don’t understand why OCR keep posting these dumb stories. It’s certainly not news.
Hey OCR, if you want to improve readership…post something worth reading!
I come to these articles because I LOVE the comments…you all gave me a good chuckle tonight…sorry WATCHER I didn’t read the whole article, I just can’t take the blow by blow account, it makes me cringe.
No apology necessary.
So Slade had a blog on Bravo that was taken down. You can find it still on radaronline.com
Anyway, he made 2 acusations.
1-Vickie has affairs at hotels.
2-Tamara and Simon’s secret will soon be exposed.
What do you think he was talking about???
I have to agree with Lori. Every weekly article Richard Chang writes offering previews of the upcoming show I have to laugh. I laugh because I read it as if I am hearing him speak using an extremely monotone voice. ——— to paraphrase his flat line intro…
OK, Housewives fans, here we go with another exciting episode.
I bet poor old Richard hates having been assigned this task. I would.
Can someone tell me how is it that Lynn and her husband get evicted for not paying rent, yet they can afford to buy their daughter a BMW and a nose job. I like Lynn don’t get me wrong, she seems like a nice person, but how do you justify a facelift,nosejob, and new cars for your kids. The girls aren’t going to school and they don’t work. How is this possible? I think all of these bravo hg shows are lying to us. I live in a private beach community and people are losing their homes to foreclosure, there by the grace of God go I. I never take anything for granted and I’m thankful for every mortgage payment I make. Believe me, if I can’t afford it, I don’t buy it.
I’ll be eagerly awaiting your full-length, completely objective, non-judgmental review of the episode posted by the time I get up tomorrow at 5AM. Now get to work. It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s gotta do it.
Pinky really has to be careful of her bitterness and envy, or else the b*tch lines will really show up on the face. Dealing with adversity in these times can bring out the best and worst in people. The season of paying the piper is upon us. The Brain is at least trying to act restrained for her.
I really believe that both of Lynns daughters are to grow up to be hookers and/or strippers.
Lynn’s second daughter, Alexa, is HOT, HOT, HOT!!
Raquel needs to get a face lift in order to compete with her.
I wish Lauri Waring’s kids, especially Mckenzie get back on the show somehow. I want to see a lot more of Mckenzie!
I wouldn’t mind seeing Lindsey Knickerbocker as well.
If Bravo really wants ratings they will show more gratuitous bikini shots of Jeanna’s daughter too!
Slade & Gretchen are perfect for eachother.
Both are total P.O.S. Liars !
Gretchen said last night that jeff did NOT leave her any $$$$$. B.S.
She got about 2 Million. LIAR.
I really enjoyed the Bravo Poll last night. The Bravo viewers would rather go on vacation with Vicki, then tan with Slade. OUCH !!!
GN:
Gretchen said that during filming. The money fromJeff was gifted after filming.
No, McKenzie wouldn’t touch this show with a ten foot pole, neither would her siblings. Can’t speak for Lauri’s kids.
I take great umbrage with the women and teens on this show repeatedly saying that there is great pressure in OC to have plastic surgery. I’m a woman who has lived here for nearly 25 years and never felt pressured by anyone else to have any kind of cosmetic surgery–stop blaming the county ladies, it’s pathetic.
I agree fan, grew up here my whole life, out of all my friends only one person has had plastic surgery and it was from a car accident, not because they wanted their face fixed up.
Tamra and Vickie are so bitter, they can’t even smile without looking angry. Very bitter old women. You need some younger women on here to keep these hags, jealous.
Raquel is right. Her little sister Alexa is a supermodel. Best episode ever last night with Alexa getting the most airtime of her brief yet stellar tv career. She stole the show, asking for a beer at the tan party (slade grosses me out) and then having a breakdown at the lunch with mom and sis.
As a native of Newport Beach, i have ONLY watched this show to be VERY amused by all these POSERS! Hmm isn’t it interesting how Jeana, Tamra and Vickie were all touting their “mid-west morals”..and now they are all broke..well actually they never had REAL money, just a few HELOC’s..and now that $$ is gone..so ridiculous! This lame show was never filmed where the REAL $$ is: Newport, Lido Isle, Big Canyon, Villa Park, Huntington Harbour etc. Why? b/c people who have $, dont want others to know and they dont have anything to prove and they certainly dont go on TV and make fools of themselves! & Mr Bellino is just a pawnbroker & house-flipper..good luck w/ that..POSER LOSERS!!! GO AWAY already!! crawl back home to yr trailer park!!
BTW- i attended CDM HS in Newport, i grew up w/ Guggenheim’s and Grandchildren of Irvine and Grandchildren of Macy’s dept store. None of these people are on a lame show. And actually all of the above people are some of the most low-key and down-to-earth people that you’d ever meet. I was raised here with morals and a hard-working father so i could grow up at the beach. Phony people like all the people on this show came and went in orange county over the years. I am just so damn sick of my birthplace getting such a bad rap. Yes, many people here had $ and many in orange county didnt but, people were not like these scum..its just such a shame. So many transplants came to this beautiful area and ruined it…there are still MANY good, decent and real people here, with real dough, ha ha!!
So stupid b*****s of this show, just GIVE IT UP, and slink home with yr “mid-west values”, and leave my county alone already!!
Tamra and Vickie are so pathetic and predictable. Of course Vickie is glad Jenna is leaving the show. Jenna doesn’t act like these two, she isn’t trying to compete with the younger genaration. Tamra is a loser and so very sad looking. Get a job! You will never amount to anything and sure the heck not going to be a movie star. You’re to old and washed up.. The only time you will walk down the red carpet is going to be when Bravo T.V. invites you has a guest because of the show.
After that your history. No one will ever know who you are. Tamra and Vickie can’t stand competition. All the women on the show look better than you. Tamra always looks like bitter. Perhaps if Vickie focused on her husband instead of trying to look younger and being a bitter buddy with Tamra her “love tank wouldn’t be empty”. If your not middle aged, you sure in the heck look like it. Gretchen looks happy and acts happy and Vickie and Gretchen just can’t stand it. Grow up you hags.
Vickie and Tamra are you flippen for real??? Seriously you two broads in the end will have no husband. Wow, talk about pathetic.
I wonder if their husbands tell you the truth about what people and neighbors say about you. Unbeliveable and so, so, predictable.
Jenna is smart she’s getting out before they get cancelled. This show is nothing but a bunch of washed up wanna b’s.
I’m sorry that Jeana is leaving the show.
I think Vicki and Tamara are two of the most despicable women that I have ever seen on TV. I’m not usually mean but I would really enjoy seeing Vicki fail big time and be forced to move back to the mid west or wherever that was she came from.
In the last show Jeana referred to Tamara as “white trash” - right on!
I don’t know how Simon can stand living with her.
That Bravo publicity photo continues to crack me up. It looks like Gretchen is sitting spread-eagle on the chaise. You mean they have time to photo-shop these tanned bag of bones within an inch of their lives…but someone seemingly seated in a lithotomy position escapes them?
As soon as Simon and Donn grow a set they will leave their worn-out, haggard, mean-spirited, vile wives for real women who far more wholesome, youthful and kind. Tamra looks AWFUL and Vicki does too. Their personalities are gross and their faces look like someone smeared make-up on them with a putty knife. Eeeeeww!
And Tamra, grow up. When will you realize you are the LAUGHING stock of Ladera Ranch (and that’s really saying something). Your children are suffering…..
Everyone on the show is so focused on Gretchen and her life….when exactly will it be revealed that Tamra made a living swinging around a pole to support her first child. I read that’s where Simon actually met her. She criticizes Gretchen when she has the most shady past of them all. She will probably deny it as rumor or lies, but if we are to believe all the accusations she has hurled at Gretchen why not the rumors out there about her. I mean why would people lie, right?
Tamra and Vicky are so pathetic. They do not even act like grown women. These two are bullies of the worst kind and are made for each other. To watch them each week get all ‘gussied’ up like trailer park debutantes is hilarious. Tamra and her faux shopping trips with the empty bags…again pathetic. They should move this show to the Comedy Channel or turn it into a cartoon. At least Gretchen lives within her means.
Jeanna, get out and don’t look back. Lynn, I get why you do the show….it actually puts the food on your table.
Spill the beans people, which husband cheated?
Classic…. Tamra was a pole-dancer and yet she looks down on Gretchen? PAH-thetic. Tamra is white trash– always has been and always will be. Vicki is no better. They are both bullies, are mean-spirited, and soul-less. They have completely missed the mark on what is important in life and their reputations in OC are damaged beyond repair. “Ladies,” look inward and REALLY think about how you’ve been behaving.
Jeana, Gretchen and Lynne look like angels compared to you two. GROW UP already.